Thursday, December 23, 2010

I TOO HAD A LOVE STORY!!!!!!!

 R u Nilay??” A tall, little dark boy in check shirt and blue jeans turned around and answered “ Yes..Rhea right??”…. I nodded my head and smiled but his question somehow irritated me.. I was just thinking of taking the iPod out when he asked me whether I have one hundred and fifty rupees or not…I was like stunned and didn’t know what to reply… First of all we are meeting for the first time and just seconds after meeting you are asking for money that to from a girl?? I just wanted to tell “Dude r u in your senses??”….But somehow those words didn’t come out…He guessed my perplexed mind and told “Don’t’ worry I will give it back to you 2dy itself..Don’t have five hundred rupees change and the cab driver also doesn’t have…” The assurance that he will give me my money back today itself was a sigh of relief..I handed over him the money…After giving it to the taxi driver he returned with a big smile in his face telling thanks…I had to be formal and answered welcome… I handed him the ipod 4r which I had come to meet him and in my mind cursed Rudra like anything…He was supposed 2 cum and take it but somehow got busy with his tuitions and send this “friend” of him…After handing I just told him bye and was about to leave but the question “So early??May I know the reason??” To an unknown person I didn’t want to tell that I told my mother something else before coming to give you this… So just opted for another reason like have lots of assignments left for tomorrow…
                                                  He smiled and replied whether I had half an hour more..After thinking for a second I told ok fine… We roamed around the lanes and by lanes near my locality..Was feeling a bit weird because if someone saw me with him it would mean the starting of my troubles…He told me a bit of his life story… And I just looked at the clocks at intervals thinking why is it taking so long 4r 30 mins to pass…. Eventually I told him bye and was about to leave when he proposed me…I was stunned as what ‘s wrong with him.. I gave him an angry look and asked him “do u know anything more than my name??We r not even friends..How can you be in love with me??” He answered “ I saw your pic with Rudra and liked it that’s y came on behalf of Rudra to take d ipod..I know its weird but isn’t love a madness in itself??” I had no answers to his questions may be because it was the first time sum1 told me like this…So I thought that taking d rickshaw back home was better than anything else…He msgd me quite a number of times that night…I replied to some and some I didn’t…I just wasn’t interested or maybe I wanted to show him that at least..Rudra also called me asking what happened and I literally gave him a shouting 4r his stupid act… But somehow in my heart I felt good that someone finally approached me but my mind kept refusing that it was love and kept whispering he is flirting… I told my best friend about all this and even she was of the same opinion as my mind…It was within few mins that my friends came to know about this…But no one could meet me because now I was in an different school and it was only in the weekend that we could meet.. But his msgs started coming everyday and as soon as I returned home from school and switched on my ph on his call came…It made me happy at times but the whisperings of my mind faded the happiness away… But somehow as the days passed I started connecting myself with him but still refusing to believe that I was in love… It was not long enough when we started writing msgs at every now and then…I told him about myself, my family and my own world… yes thats d word “my world”…..it always meant either novels, studies, small group of friends, little music and my family”..Although I am eldest I am pampered a lot… But strange enough he never spoke those three words after our first meeting…He wanted to meet me a number of times even agreeing to come in front of my tuitions…But somehow I wanted to avoid him as I was more comfortable over ph… But one afternoon he msgd me telling “how long do I have to wait for your answer to be yes”? I frankly asked him “why do you want me to be in a relationship with me?? You know I am not good looking…why waste time by flirting with me”…. He replied “ Wear a black or blue jeans with a light tshrt or top of your size instead of an xtra large size..Your size tshrt doesn’t make you look fat or bad.. wear a little bit of kajal..tie your hair in a pony as you do with a little bit of your small hair loose instead of pinning it with a clip…wear a bracelet in your right hand and dnt leave your hand empty…Then look in the mirror…the girl you see isn’t ugly…she is a beautiful in her own way..nd I love that girl…nd my love is true…” I don’t know but somehow the msg kept me think for some hours…several questions like “Why is he doing all this to me”, “Love cannot be at first sight. It happens only in DDL J”, “What if he leaves me tomorrow?, “ But he’s is not that bad also”…. Perplexed and confused about him I started studying as that would help me to keep him out of my head..But soon his another msg somehow distracted me..It read “Commitments are easy to make and difficult to keep..I want to keep my commitments..Your commitment is not necessary for me to be committed towards you.”This made me convice that this is love and I suddenly called him and told him the three words he was waiting to hear for two and half months…
                                               The next few months were just like life in heaven… We roamed across the streets of the city..Had lots of fun having the phuckas near my grandmom’s home, meeting almost every week with some reason or the other… and soon the ph calls increased,the amount of msgs sent and received increased..He knew almost every activity I did throughout the day… And so did I…Too much engrossed with each other..We did fight at times but we always made it up at the end… Life seemed so beautiful at times…We often laughed how we met and saw some small dreams together…I guess everyone does so when they are in love… He taught me to dress properly..I mean from a tom boyish way to a girly way..He taught me how to walk wearing pencil heels..I asked him several times” whats the use of all this?? Do I have to do all this to prove that I am in love with you??” He just gave me a smile and replied when “you are beautiful why not show it to others..I am just making a beautiful pot out of clay and I want people to appreciate you..I love you even when you dress in tomboyish way… Bt sum changes needs to be done to make you perfect…” Meeting his mother made me feel even more special…it seemed that his words of commitment were indeed true…Everything seemed so perfect…
                                                       But something happened to this perfect story which made it imperferct for the rest of my life…Does it happen to every love story?? Or was mine an exceptional one?? I still wonder why I told ma about him that night while I was talking to my best friend…May be he was right that time hasn’t come yet to inform my parents.. The events that followed afterwards was simply nothing less than nightmare…The scoldings, the ph calls made by my family to him, the words “stay away from him”, “ this not your time to do all this” still echoes in my ear… I never thought that my family would react in such a manner..i was always a princess at home,the most pampered girl… Then somehow I built up my courage and we still moved on with our relationship… May be got inspired from all the hindi love storys where people fight for their love…Our relationship got scratched a bit but it didn’t break… the ph calls became less as I called him only when I was out of home but the msgs went on…He kept on inspiring me to study hard..I remember the days when I used to wake early in the morning to study and just send him a msg… He replied a bit late but those word” Study hard..Will call you after 9:30” simply gave me the strength to do my best…But even this much of contact didn’t seem enough…It was not long enough when the only meetings in few months stopped..My father incidently read a msg sent by him and that was enough spark of fire…The Daddy’s girl soon became the reason for daddy’s high blood pressure…My father scolded me and even him over ph…In anger may be he didn’t realize what he was saying but those words were enough to bring the relationship to standstill….Atleast to a point when feelings are true but circumstances doesn’t allow to share those feelings…My ph was confisticated but not my feelings..I continued to call him from some where or the other…But soon he started ignoring me.. I used to wait eagerly to call him…And when I did either he was too busy with his world or was just too tired to answer properly…i asked him several times do you love me?? The answer that alwys came in jst few seconds that "ofcourse i do" now came as "I dont know" or rather "I don't want to answer now"..But d reply to the question of" will you be beside me forever?" was bit too harsh.. May be he didnt realize thats his words "Study well,make your life,make your parents happy..Why do you want to love such a person who hates your family specially your dad..You always told me that you love your family most then why are you hurting them by talking to me?? If you get caught this time your parents won't take long time to come to my home and insult my parents..And as a son I dont want it...So better we lead our own lives"....Deeply hurt I used to decide every night that I won’t ever call him back again but everyday my heart refused to accept that decision… I kept on thinking of those commitments and memories… It made me depressed as I started talking less with everyone and I was in love with my lonliness… My friends felt bad about me and each one of them tried to make him understand that “it’s a love story” and just it needs a a bit more understanding…But his ego was greatly hurt by my father’s words and he would never try to make up…I knew his decision but still I felt like calling him when I got my ph after exams..He stopped questioning about where I was and with whom etc etc…May be he wanted to but his ego didn’t make him do..
                                                       It was not long enough when we shifted to another city and we never met ever again… I called him sometimes and asked him how he was, his work, his family…He replied in yes, no or at the most its al fyn…I could feel that he wanted to speak something more than that but somehow he never spoke and my ph got disconnected due to lack of credit… I waited for his call or even a msg..But that never came… At times I used to call him only to see whether his ph is ringing or not and as soon as it rang I disconnected the line…Many questions took my peace of mind..Questions like “maybe he has got a new gf”, “May be he is happy without me”, “May be he is too busy”, “ May be he still loves me” …… But the questions remained unanswered and I realized it was high time I move on in life.. Moving on is easy in life..It s what we leave behind that is difficult to forget.. Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up.. The busy schedule of my college kept me busy and I got little time to think about the past…about the golden memories…I started studying even more hard than before…Achieved goals, certificates after certificates….Topped my department, got a good job in one of the leading companies, enjoy my Sunday afternoons by sleeping, laugh around with friends and colleagues, listen to music, love my parents like before, enjoy cooking occasionally,…. In short enjoying life to its fullest but its only me that knows behind every smile lies a broken heart…. Sometimes when I stand on the terrace of my home and watch the stars I think about HIM…the person who changed my life, the person who made me understand the deeper meaning of love, the person who made d new Rhea who now knows perfectly how to walk with high heels, the person whose silent motivation is the greatest contribution towards my academic results, the person towards whom my commitment is still strong and the person whom I still love…. We are no more “in touch” with each other but I still feel committed towards him… And today when somebody asks me “ r u still single?” I somehow just change the topic to something else…When my parents ask me about my future planning’s, marriage plans, whether I love anyone or not I simply smile and answer not now plz… They think I blush but only me and my heart knows that I am still waiting for YOU…..
                                                          Love for me is just something more than those three words of “I love You” and “I miss you”…..It’s a desire to be with YOU again, to wait endlessly for your calls and msgs, to secretly keep my commitment towards you…. After all someone once told me “Commitments are easy to make and difficult to keep..I want to keep my commitments..Your commitment is not necessary for me to be committed towards you.........”